


off into the sunset, living like there's nothing left to lose

by notthebigspoon



Series: Amaryllis [59]
Category: Baseball RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-25
Updated: 2013-02-25
Packaged: 2017-12-03 14:10:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/699100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notthebigspoon/pseuds/notthebigspoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I wish things were different. I wish that I could change. I like to think that I have but then I wonder if I’m just fooling myself. I let you down so many times. I lied to you. I hid things from you. And I did this while telling you I loved you, telling you that you were my everything."</p><p>Title taken from Between the Raindrops by Lifehouse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	off into the sunset, living like there's nothing left to lose

“I wish things were different. I wish that I could change. I like to think that I have but then I wonder if I’m just fooling myself. It feels like from the beginning, all I’ve done is drag you down. I lied to you. I hid things from you. And I did this while telling you I loved you, telling you that you were my everything. And you were. Still are. Always will be, because I never want anyone else. I’m gonna do it this year... I’m going to show people I can do it on my own. But it’s not for me. I want to do it for you.”

Ryan’s only response is to roll over and fling an arm over Melky’s waist. His face presses into Melky’s arm and his breath is warm. If he were awake, he’d probably be stroking Melky’s cheek and telling him that he should be doing it for himself, that Ryan has faith in him no matter what. It’d probably make Melky feel worse, because he really doesn’t deserve that kind of love from someone.

After they started talking again, got back together, his boyfriend had told him that it was all water under the bridge. They were going to start over and pretend that things hadn’t happened the way they did. Melky had merely went to another team and they were going to make the best of the bad situation they’d been placed in. He’d stuck to it beautifully, shrugging off anyone’s mention of the suspension.

He doesn’t understand Melky’s determination to do it for him, for him and for his mother and for their kids. There’s been so much shame involved in the past several months of Melky’s life, so many stupid decisions. He wants to be an honorable person again, wants to be someone that they can be proud of. Ryan’s so amazing in his own right and Melky wants to share in that. He deserves better than what Melky gave him.

Tomorrow’s going to be difficult for the both of them, Ryan to Arizona and Melky to Florida. For the next seven months, they’ll rarely see each other, relying on the phone and the computer to make the passing time easier. His mind keeps going back to Sanchez and Whiteside. They’re making the long distance. It might not be the best example though. They’re an open secret in the majors, a love like nobody’s ever seen the likes or strength of before.

Melky wants that, to have that love so strong that an entire organization knows it’d take an act of nature to destroy.

He shifts onto his side, laughs softly at the way Ryan mumbles and buries his face in Melky’s throat. One hand skims up Ryan’s arm, feels those muscles that he loves so much. He looks at that face he loves so much and thinks of all the smiles he’s earned, the kisses he’s been given. So many times, Ryan had been caught looking, looking at Melky like he can’t really believe that Melky is his.  
Melky kisses the corner of his mouth and rests their heads together. “I’m gonna earn it baby. I’m going to give you a reason to feel that way. I promise.”


End file.
